The Final Frontier

The last 2 days we have been in and out of the hospital. The false alarm yesterday was in fact beneficial; there is now a real sence of urgency and Mei no longer procrastinated about packing her bags. When the next round of contractions comes along, I am sure this time we would have the necessary gear to rock and roll.

In the morning as I was about to leave for office, Mei said she was bleeding but strangely, again there was no contractions nor any sign of water gushing out of her. From what we learned from antenatal, any sign of bleeding is critical enough to have it checked so off we went to the hospital. The nurse who attended to us was nice enough to let us jump queue despite the busy morning.

Doctor Siti said that mild bleeding is normal especially with the opening of the cervix as a result of the contractions, so mother is fine. To be sure baby is fine too; Mei was put on a CTG scan where Olivia’s heart beat and movements are monitored for 1 hour. The results were normal.

Regarding when we expect to return, Dr. Siti’s response was “Either tonight or tomorrow or even in our scheduled appointment next week”. Even with her vast years of experience, she wasn’t able to tell us for sure when we are going to be parents. I guess it is all in God's timing.

Mei’s colleagues fearing the worst...what comes to mind are Gloves, Hot Water, Scalpel etc - basically scaring the bejeepers out of them...well not wanting to take the risk, Mei was advised to stay home. With 3 days MC and 1 day replacement leave to cover her till the end of the week what better opportunity than to catch up on my entire DVD collection. And if all goes well, we should be seeing Olivia hopefully before the end of the week. If not, you would be stuck with reading more of my nonsence on this site.

Drama Queen

Did I mention that my wife was a drama queen. I probably did but I have to agree that it is better to be safe that to be sorry, especially for both mother and child’s safety.

Returning from lunch, as I sat down at my desk to read the 37th week update from babycenter.com, the phone rang. Mei’s words were “I am experiencing some pain and I am leaving office now, will you meet me at home?” She was generally calm but the quivering in her voice tells me that she was anxious.

I probe further asking her to describe the pain to me and when I was convinced that she was capable of driving home on her own, I said a short prayer over the phone and told her that I will be at home to take her to the hospital.

As I was packing up, deep down inside I kind of hoped that Mei would have said “Hey, my water bag has broke” for I know that it is a sure sign that baby was on her way to the launch pad. As the signs were unclear I more or less knew that I shouldn’t expect too much out of the situation. As the pains were not regular and far in between, we learned from our antenatal classes that time was on your side. At home, I had time to take a shower while Mei packed her bags.

Sure enough when we got to the hospital, as expected even the nurses was indifferent and we had to wait in line just like every other normal check up. Mei was a little furious cause although the contractions were very mild and irregular in between, she was sure that she should at least receive more attention than the other pregnant mothers.

Being first timers, it is always an anxious experience – not knowing what to expect, besides, it doesn’t help with the added dramas from sitcoms such as ER and Chicago Hope – all the commotion and fuss over extreme delivery cases. In reality of course especially for your first child, the labour process could stretch anything between 2 – 18 hours with an average of 8 hours for most first timers.

Anyway, after an hour Mei saw the doctor and the results did show that Mei had mild contractions, nevertheless it was too irregular to be concerned with. There was also no reason to rush things so we were sent home to let nature take its place.

I think Mei was more disappointed rather than relieved as she was set on seeing Olivia that night itself besides her husband never fails to remind her in situations like this that she is such a “Drama Queen”.

Happy Father's Day!

I have always thought of Father’s Day as a commercial excuse to gain that extra buck from the public rather than a day truly dedicated for appreciating our father. Whoever started Father’s Day was quite the genius and definitely reaping the rewards today. This celebration must have been quite recent because according to our parents, fathers and mothers day simply did not exist when they were growing up. Apparently society has gotten a lot more sophisticated and with an increase in the standard of living, people are more willing to spend given the right occasions to splurge on.

I am old enough to remember that once upon a time there was only mother’s day, soon followed by father’s day as society started acknowledging the importance of a fatherly figure. Just the other day I read an article in the papers where the author challenged society in general and the local government to start making changes to give equality and respect to fathers who plays important roles in the joint upbringing of a child. Examples given are diaper changing facilities in male toilets and classes for dads at nurseries etc. Who ever though that us men would be fighting for equality?

Well this year certainly felt different celebrating Father’s Day, not only was it our first joint celebration since we got married but it was close enough to imagine myself sitting on the opposite site of the fence where your family pays tribute to you. Glamorous but at the end of the day it is graduating from not having to pay for dinner is what really counts.

God Bless Father’s Days.

Breastfeeding

Did I mention that Mother's milk is the best for baby? It's nourishing. It's safe. And it's probably delicious. Of course, I'm not exactly speaking with any authority as a Mother's Milk connoisseur. I'm just regurgitating what I learnt from the antenatal class and from books. I assure you I haven't had any for a while now!

Breastfed Babies form a closer bond with Mommies, according to our midwives who gave us the talk. It's a mother-baby privilege. But Daddies can bond with Baby in other ways. Daddies can change Baby's diapers. Daddies can do the laundry. Daddy can play fetch. Fetch, Daddy, fetch.

Yah right! Mommy gets to bond with Baby while Daddy gets to bond with Baby's shit. Is this a female propaganda or what?! Hahhahahha!! Yes, yes, yes, I know. Mommy has to give birth.

Anyway, Mei has decided on breastfeeding and we will try it out for as long as possible. As for me, it looks like I'll be wallowing in shit for some time. *sigh*

Baby better not be giving me shit when she grows up.

Life is Beautiful...

When I was turning twelve, my parents said that I could throw a party and have some of my friends over. At an early age, I pretty much kept to myself and was known to be a loner so I didn’t have many close friends I could call my own. And I certainly wasn’t all that popular with the girls at that age – Surprise! Surprise! short and stumpy I was to say the least.

Anyway, my Birthday bash was no contender for the City Day Parade, the only day in the year where the Ipohites could catch a glimpse of beautiful floats taken to the streets. Well as you have guessed, most of my so called “friends” whom I have invited could not make it for my auspicious day. From that day onwards I hated Birthdays, especially my own. One birthday to the next and what do you know, I celebrated my 28th Birthday yesterday...

What has changed? Well yesterday, I had dozens of calls from a friend in the States, to Australia, a couple of e-mails and SMSes and of course a nice quite evening dinner with my wife and her family. Slowly the stigma has left me and although till this day I would never forget my 12th Birthday celebration, I now embrace that day knowing that today, 28 happy years later I have more people who love and care for me than I ever thought possible - something to be thankful of. I have friends who looks out for me, the best parents in the world, great in laws, a wonderful wife and soon, an intolerable little snot to call my own. What more could a man ask for?

Well looking back, popularity is not all that is cracked out to be, I am contented to remain popular amongst 2 girls, my wife and my little snot who is on her way.

Isn't life beautiful?

For Posterity

I have always wanted to keep an online journal and what better time than to write down the things that happen during the course of our pregnancy. For posterity, for friends and even family to keep up with our antics. And more importantly for Olivia to discover when she grows up one day.

Who knows, someday Olivia might grow up to be an angry young chic who feels that the world is all against her or that nobody loves her. And then she finds this blog and discovers that once upon a time, even before she came upon the world, her parents' lives revolved around her. And she learns that her parents have loved her even before they met her. And perhaps then, she would realise that her parents would always love. Unconditionally. Until the end of their lives.

That would be a nice thing to stumble upon.

I am coming to the conclusion of this book and looking forward to starting one more with Mei after Olivia is born – hopefully she will forgive me for not including her in this one and for keeping it a secret from her all this time.

30 Days to Go

I look at my table calendar in search for today’s date - 16 June 2004… it suddenly hit me that we have 30 more days to go. Time surely flies when you are having fun. I turn 28 tomorrow and in exactly 1 month, I will be a father. Wow!

Recalling my conversation with Mei last night, as Olivia is growing rapidly in the last stages of the pregnancy, there is very little room for her to move around. These days Mei’s belly reminds me of the movie Alien. Each time when Olivia stretches and squirms about, the movements from her elbow, foot or head protrudes from the mother’s belly. It doesn’t help since Olivia also has taken a fondness to her mother’s bladder which has made our bathroom a second home for Mei.

Now Mei can’t blame me for hogging the throne all the time.

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

I have been told time and again that “children are a mirror image of their parent’s characteristics”, “they learn faster from imitation than from listening”, “monkey see, monkey do”, so on and so forth. Mei always knew that I got my impatience from my dad and my romantic nature *ahem* from my mum but where did the compulsive excessive behavior come from.

Last night this came up again when we were watching Friends. There was this scene where Monica Geller was helping Chandler to look for a job, she went on to color code, cross reference, tagged and arrange every appointment notice in alphabetical order. Another example is “Monk” the obsessive-compulsive ace detective who has gone more than a bit batty after the death of his wife. He has a closet full of identical windowpane-patterned shirts and keeps his socks sealed in plastic bags. My wife couldn’t resist but to tease me each time we watch the two sitcoms. I assure you that I am not like that but I can strongly relate to Monica’s need to get organised.

Recently I took the day off just to do that. I cleared out all my clothes, iron each and everyone of them and sorted them by color coding. I also ensured that the hangers all matched in color and size if they were hung on the same rod. Mei now feels the pressure to do the same and her biggest nightmare may someday come true if Olivia would turn out to be just like her daddy.

That’s my girl. Hahaha!!

In Sickness & In Health...

Mei was down with nasty food poisoning. This was the first time she became very ill since we got pregnant. In the past when either one of us fell ill, Mei mum would always see to it that we make it to the clinic, get plenty of rest and the right nutrients to recover fast – God Bless her soul.

This time was different; Mei’s parents left for Kemaman the night before and I had just came back from a week long trip to Singapore. I was immediately in charge of taking care of the steps to see her immediate recovery, cooking and cleaning for her and making sure that she is comfortable. As the situation unfolds, I realize the true meaning behind the words “for better or worst, in sickness and in health” - the covenant I made nearly a year ago and it serves as a reminder on what it is to be responsible for another person apart from yourself.

Quirky it may sound but in a small way, it felt as if it was a blessing and a reminder that as the head of the family, part of the responsibilities that comes with it is being commissioned to take charge for another ones life, in my case two lives very soon. You may already know this but unless you experience it at heart it is truly hard to explain the depth of its true meaning.

The Lord teaches us new lessons in mysterious ways.

On my right, weighing 3000 gms we have....

Our doctor acknowledges our concerns and with that there was no ultrasound in our last checkup. Although ultrasounds are not proven to be harmful to the fetus, many have claimed that the number of times used should be limited to a bare minimum for the benefit of the baby inside. Dr. Siti with over 30 years of experience under her belt has no reservations on its use nevertheless; to make us feel at ease she will use it during alternate visits.

Knowing we can catch a glimpse of Olivia this week has our hearts racing. “Good progress” said the cheerful doctor. She is now 2.7 kg, nearly doubling her weight from just 6 weeks back. Wow, what has Mei been eating? At this rate Olivia will be slightly more than 3 kg when she comes to full term, a healthy weight for newborns. I was glad; after all Mei stomach still looks so small going into the last month of her pregnancy. With her small build, anything less than 3.5 kg is optimum and ideal so that Olivia can fit and crawl through the tunnel. With that every night for the next 5 weeks I will be coaching her to crawl towards the light!

Go Girl! Go Girl! Towards the Light!

Maternity Benefits

This is our 7th visit to our Gyne, I have not really been keeping count but my company is definitely keeping tabs on our visits – God Bless Intentia for maternity benefits. I can understand the logic behind most companies not providing for maternity claims. Being pregnant is an expensive affair. To top it off, the company is left to hold the fort down whilst their staff goes on 60 days maternity leave – what more do you want, for us to cover your expenses, dream on…

I was taken aback to find out that Allianz, the 12th largest organization in the world making a cool USD102 billion in turnover would stinge on my wife’s maternity bills. Furthermore they are an insurance company – where is the logic. On the other hand, Intentia with a turnover of only 1% that of Allianz, really goes through great lengths to takes care of their staff. In Sweden, women get 6 months maternity leave and the fathers 3 weeks off. Although I get 3 days, I really can’t complain cause paternal leave is virtually non-existent in Malaysia. Maybe that is the difference between the Swedes and the Germans, compassion and understanding.

On the other hand I know why my company just like others are now starting to clamp down on such perks, as in all liberal arrangements; there is always someone who will try to abuse the system. One of my colleagues in Sweden was back for 4 months only to be on maternity leave again. Yeah she got pregnant again during the time when both husband and wife were on leave – probably because they had too much time on her hands. I am not saying that it was wrong and there were malicious intentions to abuse the system but with the rise of medical expenses and the demands of child care on employees; no wonder companies are cutting out such benefits after all they are profit driven and besides, pregnancy is self inflicted.

Why then should organizations pay the price for your la la time? That is the reality in life.

Singapore - the place I discovered Nuby

This is our first weekend apart since we got married; I’ll have to stay in Singapore over the weekend due to a corporate function on Saturday followed by a string of meeting on Monday. Well at least there is the Great Singapore Sale to help keep my time occupied over the weekend.

On the other hand my wonderful, beautiful and intelligent wife is stuck with cleaning the house the entire weekend as our cleaner is off for the week. When I return, we shall play hide and seek with my credit card bills from her, but my future looks bleak especially for someone as resourceful as she is. And wise. Did I mention beautiful? Hehehe.

Anyway, I have a mission, apart from the PC Fair, I am suppose to visit the Motherhood Expo looking out for great bargains for both Mother and Baby. You see I was commissioned to purchase 3 sets of breast pumps in my trip to the island. However, my quest in search for those apparatus became misty when I came across “The Nuby”.

Being the gadgets and gizmos freak that I am, I simply couldn’t resist to have a look at one of those state of the art milk bottles. No, they do not warm the milk nor are they self cleaning or handsfree (believe me there are a few of those going around) but they are scientifically proven to have the lowest colic guard due to its sophisticated design, it is leak proof, has a temperature indicator and above all the bottle tits are supposed to be the closest to that of the mother. Not that I have any authority to say that it is true, trust me, I don't go around trying the bottles out for myself I just look at the research that this guy showed me.

Since Mei became pregnant, from my research I have come across several brands such as Dr. Brown, Pigeon, Gerber, Evenflo and of course the famous Avent bottles. Well Nuby is so confident of their product that they were doing a 1 for 1 swap at the fair for Avent bottles. Well it must be something great, so I bought a few to try out, besides we currently have a few Avent bottles and the Nuby ones I got are generally compatible to all Avent products.

So much for my wife’s warnings – “Don’t go overboard” she said, “Somebody needs to stop me!!”, I just bought SGD200 worth of baby products. Arghh!! And I haven’t found those darn pumps yet.

Breath In, Breath Out

The role of the father-to-be during the 9 months has not been very significant, yeah there is the occasional heroism from nailing down the cravings and ensuring that the wife has a strong husband to carry all those heavy groceries but apparently the place for us husbands to shine is in the labor room.

With only 6 weeks to full term, I would need to start brushing up some of the breathing skills and work on those labor strategies. Furthermore, husbands are their wife’s strongest supporters (better be cause they are also the cause of it all) and I plan to be just that. Wish me luck.

Apparently one of our friends didn’t know what to do or how to coach his wife. We can agree that it wasn’t the best time to be flipping through a book on “What to Expect When You're Expecting”, and in the woman’s state of mind in the labor room, he was asked to “Shut Up” and stay clear. Well shit happens, just make sure that it doesn’t happen to you and if it does, just don’t keep it to heart.

Well, after discussing with Mei, we have decided that as long as Mei can bare the pain, we will not take “epidural” (Pain Killers). Laughing gas is definitely our preferred choice and frankly, I am excited to also have the chance to try the gas myself. After all, the world could never be short of laughter and I will try anything once just for kicks.

Cravings

Today I decided to make known this Blog to a few close friends, mainly my CG Members, Mei’s sister and some of our close couple friends (People I can trust to not tell Mei about this). I figured since our pregnancy has been progressing so well hopefully I can encourage some of my friends that having babies isn’t all that bad. We are enjoying a big part of it.

The issues to look out for are morning sickness, cramps, mood swings and of course those infamous cravings. Admittedly, I was a little skeptical about cravings at first; to me it was merely a female propaganda to get back at their husbands for whatever reasons. The notion here was, for us husbands, our duty is just to provide, by hook or crook, through rain or shine the many desires of our wives appetite. According to old folk tales, an expectant mother's craving must be satisfied. No reason given.

In the last 8 months, Mei is not one who has many craving. I remembered this one time about 3 weeks ago, Mei SMS me in the late afternoon saying that she loved the “Tong Yun” from Magic Wok we had the night before. “Tong Yun” are black sesame seeds which are crushed and sweetened, wrapped in rice flour dough and boiled in either soy milk or ginger soup, a popular dessert dish in Malaysia. Since she seldom ever mentions food, I took this on as a craving so I rushed off after work to “Ta Pow” 9 of those balls from the restaurant. It took me an hour after that to get home but it was certainly worth the effort as I managed to score that night – brownie points of course.

Since that day, I think the cravings started, I have been out there during one of those stormy nights to get Mei her Sundae from McDonalds and something tells me we are having durians for dinner tonight.

Thank God, it only started recently and will end real soon.