The Final Frontier

The last 2 days we have been in and out of the hospital. The false alarm yesterday was in fact beneficial; there is now a real sence of urgency and Mei no longer procrastinated about packing her bags. When the next round of contractions comes along, I am sure this time we would have the necessary gear to rock and roll.

In the morning as I was about to leave for office, Mei said she was bleeding but strangely, again there was no contractions nor any sign of water gushing out of her. From what we learned from antenatal, any sign of bleeding is critical enough to have it checked so off we went to the hospital. The nurse who attended to us was nice enough to let us jump queue despite the busy morning.

Doctor Siti said that mild bleeding is normal especially with the opening of the cervix as a result of the contractions, so mother is fine. To be sure baby is fine too; Mei was put on a CTG scan where Olivia’s heart beat and movements are monitored for 1 hour. The results were normal.

Regarding when we expect to return, Dr. Siti’s response was “Either tonight or tomorrow or even in our scheduled appointment next week”. Even with her vast years of experience, she wasn’t able to tell us for sure when we are going to be parents. I guess it is all in God's timing.

Mei’s colleagues fearing the worst...what comes to mind are Gloves, Hot Water, Scalpel etc - basically scaring the bejeepers out of them...well not wanting to take the risk, Mei was advised to stay home. With 3 days MC and 1 day replacement leave to cover her till the end of the week what better opportunity than to catch up on my entire DVD collection. And if all goes well, we should be seeing Olivia hopefully before the end of the week. If not, you would be stuck with reading more of my nonsence on this site.

Drama Queen

Did I mention that my wife was a drama queen. I probably did but I have to agree that it is better to be safe that to be sorry, especially for both mother and child’s safety.

Returning from lunch, as I sat down at my desk to read the 37th week update from babycenter.com, the phone rang. Mei’s words were “I am experiencing some pain and I am leaving office now, will you meet me at home?” She was generally calm but the quivering in her voice tells me that she was anxious.

I probe further asking her to describe the pain to me and when I was convinced that she was capable of driving home on her own, I said a short prayer over the phone and told her that I will be at home to take her to the hospital.

As I was packing up, deep down inside I kind of hoped that Mei would have said “Hey, my water bag has broke” for I know that it is a sure sign that baby was on her way to the launch pad. As the signs were unclear I more or less knew that I shouldn’t expect too much out of the situation. As the pains were not regular and far in between, we learned from our antenatal classes that time was on your side. At home, I had time to take a shower while Mei packed her bags.

Sure enough when we got to the hospital, as expected even the nurses was indifferent and we had to wait in line just like every other normal check up. Mei was a little furious cause although the contractions were very mild and irregular in between, she was sure that she should at least receive more attention than the other pregnant mothers.

Being first timers, it is always an anxious experience – not knowing what to expect, besides, it doesn’t help with the added dramas from sitcoms such as ER and Chicago Hope – all the commotion and fuss over extreme delivery cases. In reality of course especially for your first child, the labour process could stretch anything between 2 – 18 hours with an average of 8 hours for most first timers.

Anyway, after an hour Mei saw the doctor and the results did show that Mei had mild contractions, nevertheless it was too irregular to be concerned with. There was also no reason to rush things so we were sent home to let nature take its place.

I think Mei was more disappointed rather than relieved as she was set on seeing Olivia that night itself besides her husband never fails to remind her in situations like this that she is such a “Drama Queen”.

Happy Father's Day!

I have always thought of Father’s Day as a commercial excuse to gain that extra buck from the public rather than a day truly dedicated for appreciating our father. Whoever started Father’s Day was quite the genius and definitely reaping the rewards today. This celebration must have been quite recent because according to our parents, fathers and mothers day simply did not exist when they were growing up. Apparently society has gotten a lot more sophisticated and with an increase in the standard of living, people are more willing to spend given the right occasions to splurge on.

I am old enough to remember that once upon a time there was only mother’s day, soon followed by father’s day as society started acknowledging the importance of a fatherly figure. Just the other day I read an article in the papers where the author challenged society in general and the local government to start making changes to give equality and respect to fathers who plays important roles in the joint upbringing of a child. Examples given are diaper changing facilities in male toilets and classes for dads at nurseries etc. Who ever though that us men would be fighting for equality?

Well this year certainly felt different celebrating Father’s Day, not only was it our first joint celebration since we got married but it was close enough to imagine myself sitting on the opposite site of the fence where your family pays tribute to you. Glamorous but at the end of the day it is graduating from not having to pay for dinner is what really counts.

God Bless Father’s Days.

Breastfeeding

Did I mention that Mother's milk is the best for baby? It's nourishing. It's safe. And it's probably delicious. Of course, I'm not exactly speaking with any authority as a Mother's Milk connoisseur. I'm just regurgitating what I learnt from the antenatal class and from books. I assure you I haven't had any for a while now!

Breastfed Babies form a closer bond with Mommies, according to our midwives who gave us the talk. It's a mother-baby privilege. But Daddies can bond with Baby in other ways. Daddies can change Baby's diapers. Daddies can do the laundry. Daddy can play fetch. Fetch, Daddy, fetch.

Yah right! Mommy gets to bond with Baby while Daddy gets to bond with Baby's shit. Is this a female propaganda or what?! Hahhahahha!! Yes, yes, yes, I know. Mommy has to give birth.

Anyway, Mei has decided on breastfeeding and we will try it out for as long as possible. As for me, it looks like I'll be wallowing in shit for some time. *sigh*

Baby better not be giving me shit when she grows up.

Life is Beautiful...

When I was turning twelve, my parents said that I could throw a party and have some of my friends over. At an early age, I pretty much kept to myself and was known to be a loner so I didn’t have many close friends I could call my own. And I certainly wasn’t all that popular with the girls at that age – Surprise! Surprise! short and stumpy I was to say the least.

Anyway, my Birthday bash was no contender for the City Day Parade, the only day in the year where the Ipohites could catch a glimpse of beautiful floats taken to the streets. Well as you have guessed, most of my so called “friends” whom I have invited could not make it for my auspicious day. From that day onwards I hated Birthdays, especially my own. One birthday to the next and what do you know, I celebrated my 28th Birthday yesterday...

What has changed? Well yesterday, I had dozens of calls from a friend in the States, to Australia, a couple of e-mails and SMSes and of course a nice quite evening dinner with my wife and her family. Slowly the stigma has left me and although till this day I would never forget my 12th Birthday celebration, I now embrace that day knowing that today, 28 happy years later I have more people who love and care for me than I ever thought possible - something to be thankful of. I have friends who looks out for me, the best parents in the world, great in laws, a wonderful wife and soon, an intolerable little snot to call my own. What more could a man ask for?

Well looking back, popularity is not all that is cracked out to be, I am contented to remain popular amongst 2 girls, my wife and my little snot who is on her way.

Isn't life beautiful?

For Posterity

I have always wanted to keep an online journal and what better time than to write down the things that happen during the course of our pregnancy. For posterity, for friends and even family to keep up with our antics. And more importantly for Olivia to discover when she grows up one day.

Who knows, someday Olivia might grow up to be an angry young chic who feels that the world is all against her or that nobody loves her. And then she finds this blog and discovers that once upon a time, even before she came upon the world, her parents' lives revolved around her. And she learns that her parents have loved her even before they met her. And perhaps then, she would realise that her parents would always love. Unconditionally. Until the end of their lives.

That would be a nice thing to stumble upon.

I am coming to the conclusion of this book and looking forward to starting one more with Mei after Olivia is born – hopefully she will forgive me for not including her in this one and for keeping it a secret from her all this time.

30 Days to Go

I look at my table calendar in search for today’s date - 16 June 2004… it suddenly hit me that we have 30 more days to go. Time surely flies when you are having fun. I turn 28 tomorrow and in exactly 1 month, I will be a father. Wow!

Recalling my conversation with Mei last night, as Olivia is growing rapidly in the last stages of the pregnancy, there is very little room for her to move around. These days Mei’s belly reminds me of the movie Alien. Each time when Olivia stretches and squirms about, the movements from her elbow, foot or head protrudes from the mother’s belly. It doesn’t help since Olivia also has taken a fondness to her mother’s bladder which has made our bathroom a second home for Mei.

Now Mei can’t blame me for hogging the throne all the time.

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

I have been told time and again that “children are a mirror image of their parent’s characteristics”, “they learn faster from imitation than from listening”, “monkey see, monkey do”, so on and so forth. Mei always knew that I got my impatience from my dad and my romantic nature *ahem* from my mum but where did the compulsive excessive behavior come from.

Last night this came up again when we were watching Friends. There was this scene where Monica Geller was helping Chandler to look for a job, she went on to color code, cross reference, tagged and arrange every appointment notice in alphabetical order. Another example is “Monk” the obsessive-compulsive ace detective who has gone more than a bit batty after the death of his wife. He has a closet full of identical windowpane-patterned shirts and keeps his socks sealed in plastic bags. My wife couldn’t resist but to tease me each time we watch the two sitcoms. I assure you that I am not like that but I can strongly relate to Monica’s need to get organised.

Recently I took the day off just to do that. I cleared out all my clothes, iron each and everyone of them and sorted them by color coding. I also ensured that the hangers all matched in color and size if they were hung on the same rod. Mei now feels the pressure to do the same and her biggest nightmare may someday come true if Olivia would turn out to be just like her daddy.

That’s my girl. Hahaha!!

In Sickness & In Health...

Mei was down with nasty food poisoning. This was the first time she became very ill since we got pregnant. In the past when either one of us fell ill, Mei mum would always see to it that we make it to the clinic, get plenty of rest and the right nutrients to recover fast – God Bless her soul.

This time was different; Mei’s parents left for Kemaman the night before and I had just came back from a week long trip to Singapore. I was immediately in charge of taking care of the steps to see her immediate recovery, cooking and cleaning for her and making sure that she is comfortable. As the situation unfolds, I realize the true meaning behind the words “for better or worst, in sickness and in health” - the covenant I made nearly a year ago and it serves as a reminder on what it is to be responsible for another person apart from yourself.

Quirky it may sound but in a small way, it felt as if it was a blessing and a reminder that as the head of the family, part of the responsibilities that comes with it is being commissioned to take charge for another ones life, in my case two lives very soon. You may already know this but unless you experience it at heart it is truly hard to explain the depth of its true meaning.

The Lord teaches us new lessons in mysterious ways.

On my right, weighing 3000 gms we have....

Our doctor acknowledges our concerns and with that there was no ultrasound in our last checkup. Although ultrasounds are not proven to be harmful to the fetus, many have claimed that the number of times used should be limited to a bare minimum for the benefit of the baby inside. Dr. Siti with over 30 years of experience under her belt has no reservations on its use nevertheless; to make us feel at ease she will use it during alternate visits.

Knowing we can catch a glimpse of Olivia this week has our hearts racing. “Good progress” said the cheerful doctor. She is now 2.7 kg, nearly doubling her weight from just 6 weeks back. Wow, what has Mei been eating? At this rate Olivia will be slightly more than 3 kg when she comes to full term, a healthy weight for newborns. I was glad; after all Mei stomach still looks so small going into the last month of her pregnancy. With her small build, anything less than 3.5 kg is optimum and ideal so that Olivia can fit and crawl through the tunnel. With that every night for the next 5 weeks I will be coaching her to crawl towards the light!

Go Girl! Go Girl! Towards the Light!

Maternity Benefits

This is our 7th visit to our Gyne, I have not really been keeping count but my company is definitely keeping tabs on our visits – God Bless Intentia for maternity benefits. I can understand the logic behind most companies not providing for maternity claims. Being pregnant is an expensive affair. To top it off, the company is left to hold the fort down whilst their staff goes on 60 days maternity leave – what more do you want, for us to cover your expenses, dream on…

I was taken aback to find out that Allianz, the 12th largest organization in the world making a cool USD102 billion in turnover would stinge on my wife’s maternity bills. Furthermore they are an insurance company – where is the logic. On the other hand, Intentia with a turnover of only 1% that of Allianz, really goes through great lengths to takes care of their staff. In Sweden, women get 6 months maternity leave and the fathers 3 weeks off. Although I get 3 days, I really can’t complain cause paternal leave is virtually non-existent in Malaysia. Maybe that is the difference between the Swedes and the Germans, compassion and understanding.

On the other hand I know why my company just like others are now starting to clamp down on such perks, as in all liberal arrangements; there is always someone who will try to abuse the system. One of my colleagues in Sweden was back for 4 months only to be on maternity leave again. Yeah she got pregnant again during the time when both husband and wife were on leave – probably because they had too much time on her hands. I am not saying that it was wrong and there were malicious intentions to abuse the system but with the rise of medical expenses and the demands of child care on employees; no wonder companies are cutting out such benefits after all they are profit driven and besides, pregnancy is self inflicted.

Why then should organizations pay the price for your la la time? That is the reality in life.

Singapore - the place I discovered Nuby

This is our first weekend apart since we got married; I’ll have to stay in Singapore over the weekend due to a corporate function on Saturday followed by a string of meeting on Monday. Well at least there is the Great Singapore Sale to help keep my time occupied over the weekend.

On the other hand my wonderful, beautiful and intelligent wife is stuck with cleaning the house the entire weekend as our cleaner is off for the week. When I return, we shall play hide and seek with my credit card bills from her, but my future looks bleak especially for someone as resourceful as she is. And wise. Did I mention beautiful? Hehehe.

Anyway, I have a mission, apart from the PC Fair, I am suppose to visit the Motherhood Expo looking out for great bargains for both Mother and Baby. You see I was commissioned to purchase 3 sets of breast pumps in my trip to the island. However, my quest in search for those apparatus became misty when I came across “The Nuby”.

Being the gadgets and gizmos freak that I am, I simply couldn’t resist to have a look at one of those state of the art milk bottles. No, they do not warm the milk nor are they self cleaning or handsfree (believe me there are a few of those going around) but they are scientifically proven to have the lowest colic guard due to its sophisticated design, it is leak proof, has a temperature indicator and above all the bottle tits are supposed to be the closest to that of the mother. Not that I have any authority to say that it is true, trust me, I don't go around trying the bottles out for myself I just look at the research that this guy showed me.

Since Mei became pregnant, from my research I have come across several brands such as Dr. Brown, Pigeon, Gerber, Evenflo and of course the famous Avent bottles. Well Nuby is so confident of their product that they were doing a 1 for 1 swap at the fair for Avent bottles. Well it must be something great, so I bought a few to try out, besides we currently have a few Avent bottles and the Nuby ones I got are generally compatible to all Avent products.

So much for my wife’s warnings – “Don’t go overboard” she said, “Somebody needs to stop me!!”, I just bought SGD200 worth of baby products. Arghh!! And I haven’t found those darn pumps yet.

Breath In, Breath Out

The role of the father-to-be during the 9 months has not been very significant, yeah there is the occasional heroism from nailing down the cravings and ensuring that the wife has a strong husband to carry all those heavy groceries but apparently the place for us husbands to shine is in the labor room.

With only 6 weeks to full term, I would need to start brushing up some of the breathing skills and work on those labor strategies. Furthermore, husbands are their wife’s strongest supporters (better be cause they are also the cause of it all) and I plan to be just that. Wish me luck.

Apparently one of our friends didn’t know what to do or how to coach his wife. We can agree that it wasn’t the best time to be flipping through a book on “What to Expect When You're Expecting”, and in the woman’s state of mind in the labor room, he was asked to “Shut Up” and stay clear. Well shit happens, just make sure that it doesn’t happen to you and if it does, just don’t keep it to heart.

Well, after discussing with Mei, we have decided that as long as Mei can bare the pain, we will not take “epidural” (Pain Killers). Laughing gas is definitely our preferred choice and frankly, I am excited to also have the chance to try the gas myself. After all, the world could never be short of laughter and I will try anything once just for kicks.

Cravings

Today I decided to make known this Blog to a few close friends, mainly my CG Members, Mei’s sister and some of our close couple friends (People I can trust to not tell Mei about this). I figured since our pregnancy has been progressing so well hopefully I can encourage some of my friends that having babies isn’t all that bad. We are enjoying a big part of it.

The issues to look out for are morning sickness, cramps, mood swings and of course those infamous cravings. Admittedly, I was a little skeptical about cravings at first; to me it was merely a female propaganda to get back at their husbands for whatever reasons. The notion here was, for us husbands, our duty is just to provide, by hook or crook, through rain or shine the many desires of our wives appetite. According to old folk tales, an expectant mother's craving must be satisfied. No reason given.

In the last 8 months, Mei is not one who has many craving. I remembered this one time about 3 weeks ago, Mei SMS me in the late afternoon saying that she loved the “Tong Yun” from Magic Wok we had the night before. “Tong Yun” are black sesame seeds which are crushed and sweetened, wrapped in rice flour dough and boiled in either soy milk or ginger soup, a popular dessert dish in Malaysia. Since she seldom ever mentions food, I took this on as a craving so I rushed off after work to “Ta Pow” 9 of those balls from the restaurant. It took me an hour after that to get home but it was certainly worth the effort as I managed to score that night – brownie points of course.

Since that day, I think the cravings started, I have been out there during one of those stormy nights to get Mei her Sundae from McDonalds and something tells me we are having durians for dinner tonight.

Thank God, it only started recently and will end real soon.

Olivia’s Favorite Aunt

There seems to be a competition emerging even before Olivia makes her grand entrance. As I am the only son amongst 3 siblings and Mei with a younger sister, they all aspire to be Olivia’s favorite aunt. Hwee Yen has said she would do ANYTHING to ensure that she is Olivia’s favorite and Charlotte having had past successes with her friend’s children is definitely the contender to watch out for.

This certainly worries me as Olivia being the only grandchild from both sets of grandparents is destined to be spoiled but now with her aunty all contending to be the Chosen One – just like Monica is to Emma in Friends (Then again technically she is Emma’s only aunt). I guess this would be another challenge for both Mei and I.

However, being the brother in law that I am – always trying to get on Yen’s nerves, I have made it my sole mission to spoil her plans by plotting to tell Horror Yen stories to Olivia before she goes to sleep every night. Hehehehe!

Our Last Anti-Natal Class

I received a v-mail from my best friend in the States who sd he has been kept up to date with Mei’s pregnancy from my past blogs, what little entries I had, nonetheless, it inspired me to provide him with further updates.

We concluded our last of a series of 4 anti-natal classes during the weekend and the last one really freaked Mei out, especially Ai Ling’s version of a “hole-in-one”. As this is a family website - rated PG, I would need to keep this kind of stuff offline – see me in private.

Anyway, there is so much to think about from the type of pain killers to the post natal cares. What comes to mind are the challenges of breast feeding and the complications of jaundice to name a few. This pregnancy really gave me a whole new perspective of parenthood and what my own parents had gone through to conceive and raise me. Today I feel a greater appreciation for my mum and dad.

I love the nights when Mei and I are not too drained from the day and we would share about how we would like to raise Olivia and to picture what our family would be like with Olivia on board. I keep telling myself that I just can’t wait to be a father and then in Church yesterday we witnessed a little girl that was going on and on and on with her tantrums. At that very moment, I pray for God’s mercy upon us that Olivia would not be anything like that brat. Also it kept us thinking regarding remedies in situations like that.

Children need to be discipline but given the situation we may react differently as the saying goes “You should never judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes”.

Only time will tell. Sigh.... now I can’t wait for her to be 5 years old to see the outcome.

All Fishes Goes to Heaven

My fishes died today and it was a sad, sad day for my wife and I. We certainly loved those darn Kois even if they were a little “dong, dong” from time to time. I discovered their carcass this morning but had to rush off to work. At work all I could think about was that Olivia will grow up not knowing them.

I love fishes and they are my choice pets because they are soothing to look at, they don’t make any noise and they are don’t pooh so…….I take that back, they do pooh a lot, more that I imagined at first. They practically stink by the end of the week after I have their water changed and I hate to admit it but a part of me am glad that I don’t have to spend my weekend’s cleaning after them. On top of that, we need to give them a little credit, they are not as dumb as we think they are - they can certainly differentiate expensive from mediocre food. I am sure we all have that natural instict to do so.

Anyway, after this round – yes, yes it is the second incident that this had happened, I think I will wait till Olivia is a little bigger and when she is ready to take care of her own fishes, then I can enjoy the fishes and make her clean the pooh and change the water – my grand plan.

That is what your kids are for, hopefully she will only discover this blog when she is about 60.

Mighty Mouse

The first time I set eyes upon Barney was at SJMC’s gift shop over the weekend, my instant reaction was, “Why would anyone buy a purple bear as a present?” My wife instantly corrected me that Barney was actually a hot ticket item amongst toddlers today and in actual fact it was a dinosaur. Well I wanted to believe that this was just a one off isolated case and the owners of the gift shop just have bad taste for children.

And yesterday, I received the much awaited Standard Chartered’s Rewards Catalogue for 04/05 and there it was again “Barney – Soft and Silly” for 45 points. Arghhhh… whatever happened to Big Bird and gang? Elmo and Kermit the Frog? And my favorites “Mighty Mouse”. Are they suddenly passed now, after years of shaping and molding the youths of yesteryear? These were the epitome of children programmes. They were wholesome entertainment and educational to boot. Instead, today kids want B A R N E Y. Barney is such a whuss!! An annoying piece of lump!! The result of a cartoonist bad week!!

When Olivia grows up, there will be No Barney in our home or any of those scary looking Tellytubbies. Those Tubbies will just gives you nightmares and every time I see them it just makes me want to scream.

What role model will Olivia have when she grows up? I guess it is up to my 20 year old "Mighty Mouse" to save the day whilst we look for a true blue 21st century hero for her to connect with.

Simply Amazing

During one of our Anti Natal classes, we watched a video of a water delivery, amazing. The mother was placed in an oval bathtub with warm water. Apparently the water helps balance off the pain and baby gets to come out to an environment that is similar to the mother’s womb. For Olivia’s benefit, “No you were not brought by the stork although we may have told this to you at the early stages of your childhood” – This site will eventually be introduced to our girl, when she is old enough to read.

I am digressing again, where was I… Water Births… yeah and research has shown that babies have a natural ability to hold their breath whilst under water and are natural born swimmers. It is just that they forget after abstaining from water for a long time. It may not be breaststrokes or butterfly but to them it is definitely their own freestyle from what we saw.

I just want to say that our God is simply amazing; He is the master planner, the great architect and the best contractor. Just trying to understand the whole area of conceiving and giving birth to a child is really mind blowing. Did you know that all babies would need to crawl out from a tunnel and it is the process of doing so that helps equip the baby to breath in our world. At the same time, the tunnel is curved so that the process is steady, this would ensure that baby’s brain is not damaged due to the speed of the delivery. Also as the opening is oval in shape, the curved tunnel helps stop baby from sliding out. Once the baby’s head protrudes out of the opening, all babies have a natural instinct to turn to make way for the shoulders to come out through the opening. Babies skull and backbone is also soft to ensure that it does not act as a resistant during labour. Babies also have a layer of wax that acts as a lubricant and a protective seal from the diseases of this world… now can you understand why God is just so amazing. He thought about everything.

Only in the 20th century are we spoiled for choices and the producers of formulas would have you think that formulas are the best dietary supplements for babies but research proved otherwise where the mother’s breast milk will evolve to include special nutritional needs for the child from the time the child is born till she is weaned at 2 to 3 years of age.

The first feed is a clear substance called “Colostrums” and it is the most nutritious milk for the baby, it has all the antibodies that baby would need. The woman’s body will also be conditioned such that every time baby gets hungry, the milk will flow.

Do you ever wonder why 9 months – it certainly feels like a long time to wait.

According to Parents.com, at 6-month (24-week) old, the fetus is able to live outside the womb. That means that if Olivia is born now, he will be able to manage with a little help from the doctors. He'll be able to develop quite normally with the help of medication. So technically, 6 months is enough time for babies to stay in a womb.

Doesn't that make you wonder why babies are born only after 9 months? Why not 6?

I think that's just the way God planned it. For Mei and me, 9 months gives us some time to get our acts together. 6 months ago, we would have made shitty parents. Now, we've gotten considerable less shitty. In another 3 months, we can almost be certain that in the future, Olivia can grow into adulthood without ever needing therapy someday!

And having to go through an emotional rollercoaster for 9 months also helps us to appreciate Baby better. If babies can be made in a day or two, I don't think anyone will care too much for babies.

Thank God for 9 months.

Wonder Mum

Mei has been great, not only has she started growing into her role as a mother (and by that I do not mean putting on weight because she is pregnant) but she constantly talks and prays for our unborn child. When we talk about our future as a family, I am constantly reminded that she is the Bestest Wife in the whole wide world (even if it is in my small world) and I am the luckiest man alive. There is not a single day that passes me by that I don’t thank my Creator for helping to match make us and for bringing us together as one.

She often tells me that it is quite scary taking on this new role but I know she has all the right ingredients that will make her a role model mom even if it is just for Olivia. At the end of the day what is important to us is that our daughter is raised right with strong values and strong principles, everything else is secondary and that is our mission for Olivia’s life. Knowing my wife she may not be the most organized person, she may not be the best cook but I am convinced that she was brought into this world to take on this role as the mother, a friend and as a protector to our child.

Visits to our Gynecologist

The last two visits to Dr. Siti has been great, we didn’t have to wait too long to see her, most of the time just barely completing our read of the morning papers. Olivia is progressing very well although her mother would need to come back for the works to check her blood sugar level but that is another story.

Anyway, Olivia has grown so much that it was hard for us to have a full view of her from just one scan. Today was especially great because we could see her facial image through the ultrasound and I could tell that she has my looks – what a cute and adorable baby she will turn out to be. 

I am excited, can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait… as I look at her I imagine her growing up, taking slow walks with me in the park, playing kite on a Sunday evening before we have dinner and coming up with relentless answers to feed her never ending curiosity of Why questions. (Just like me when I was young).

Mei and I have agreed that she'll be the "bad cop" parent and I will be the good one (although she may insist or tell you otherwise but I clearly remember it to be the case and she has no basis to argue for the fact that Pregnant Women are proven to be more forgetful). Anyway, I am sure we will both be great parents be it good or bad cop.

The Elephant Song

About the 26 weeks onwards, Olivia could hear and respond to voices and since both mother and daughter are always together for now, Olivia hears every conversation that Mei speaks. It is actually quite fascinating that when Olivia first arrives, she will be able to pick out from a crowd, her own mother’s voice and smell, the father although he has made 50% of the contribution, maybe more in terms of support and financial aid will not be remembered unless he puts in his equal share of TLC. By TLC, it means spending time with Olivia whilst she is still in the mother’s womb.

I don't know about you but I personally find it strange to be speaking to the wife’s belly button every night. "What do you say to the BB?"... By nature I am also not one who is extremely fond of the belly button especially my wife’s who navel sticks out like Pinocchio’s nose (Trust me that is exactly how it looks like when women are pregnant). Furthermore, I would run out of words describing Mei’s tummy to Olivia – there are only so many ways you can describe the tummy to your unborn child.

I have therefore resorted to singing a song that I learned whilst I was about 5 years of age. It is called the Elephant Song – strange words to the song but it is kind of cute. If you had watched the Elephant Show in the 80s you would know what I mean.

Now that Olivia’s reflexes are mature, she would abuse her mother inside out, kicking and punching just before Mei goes to sleep. To calm her down I would sing her the Elephant Song and low and behold she would remain really quiet. I wonder if she is soothed or absolutely terrified.

Anyway, I believe that when Olivia is physically in this world, apart from recognizing her mother’s voice, she would be familiar with her father’s elephant song. That is how she will know that I am her daddy. (Proud Grin)

The Godfather - Part 1

Let me tell you about the relationship I have with my 2 best friends - Parthiban and Wee Yee Tat, you can say we are like Joey, Chandler and Ross in Friends. (I love that series – watches every episode). They have such a history together and will always remain as great friends and that is basically the essence of what we have. I would however like to think of Parthiban as Ross because he is after all the one pursuing his PHD and although I would like Yee Tat to be Joey because we all know Joey is a little “duh” but I guess since I have the good looks and the charm with the women (Ahem), I will have to be Joey and Chandler of course is Yee Tat lah.

Discovering that I will be the first to have a child, both have expressed interest to be my child’s godfather. Of course secretly Yee Tat wants to take the lead on this one and have expressed interest to sponsor Olivia’s nutritional diet of endless supply of milk till she is 50 (I added the 50 bit). The reason I know this is because Yee Tat told Mei... wait till Parthi discovered what Yee Tat is working on behind his back whilst he is away.

No matter who the godfather is or are, I know that my best friends will equally be great dad’s themselves be it to my child or their own. If they suck at that, at least I know that for Olivia’s college fund, I will have 2 very willing sponsors.

Messy Child

Since we got married and shifted into our place in BU, we have not been the most organized couple. Sure it may look neat and tidy but it is only skin deep, there are lots of rubbish still hidden in one of those cupboards or in one of those boxes that are safely hidden away from our visitors’ eyes. So for the next few weekends I aspire to clean up our place to make room for baby stuff.

This week I managed to remove everything from our kitchen cabinets to reorganize them according to function and frequency of use. The less frequent we use them, the higher it should go. Also for Olivia’s benefit, all breakable and harmful objects should be out of her reach. I can see it coming; very soon we would need to start proofing our home.

I also discovered what my mother-in-law was rambling about, Mei being untidy and disorganized – I tell you it is all TRUE. Never saw it till it was too late. “Sigh”

Next stop, Mei's wardrobe, any volunteers?

Baby Names

Was discussing with a friend of mine if he and his wife has selected a name for their baby boy due approximately a month after Olivia. This was his reply to me, it was simply hilarious that I just had to include it in my blog:

“Lately Mae and I have been racking our brains for a nice name for Baby. And believe me, the burden of naming a child is incredibly daunting. What if we choose a sucky name and our poor kid gets teased all his life? As Chinese, our troubles are doubled since we want a nice Chinese name to go with a nice English name. And as far as Chinese names go, while they mean beautiful things in the language, a lot of times they sound like something really horrendous in English or Malay.

Kids named Chee Wai always get teased. Similarly, so do Yee Ting and Wai Ping, because after Yee Ting, you should always be Wai Ping... your mouth. If you subscribe to the notion that, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" try telling that to little Kah Yew. And if you think Ai Ting is bad, wait till you meet Ai Pee! Some Chinese surnames add more misery to the lives of these kids like Wan Kok Keat and Pee Onn Joo. And surely you've heard of the two shops in Johor, Ooi Kian Fatt and it's competitor, Soh Kean Wee! I guess the older generation parents just never thought things through, seeing as to how many tragic names came from those times.

There are probably some rules we should remember when it comes to Chinese surnames. Here are a few that comes to mind. If your surname is Loo, the next name should never be Bang or King. If it's Chew, then no Weng. Phang must never go with Sai or Pui. And Tham should never be followed by Bee or you'll sound more Indian than Chinese. The next dilemma comes if you decide on an English name before your surname. My auntie knows a Harry Kok, though I'm sure she's seen more than one. Heh! And then, there was this family friend who named his daughter Diana Saw - which is surely a classic, if not Jurassic!

So you see our worry? What if we overlook something and give Baby a name that results in a lifetime of teasing? Anyway, we're open to suggestions. We like a little English name for our kid - maybe Aidan, Brandon, Dylan, Julian or something nice. My surname is Tan, so names like Rambo and Sy are definitely out!”

I laughed myself silly and my only advice to him was, to stay clear of Michael in light of his surname and if he likes the middle name Phang, Jiou is also out of the question. Good Luck James.

Night Fever, Night Fever

For sometime now, we have been expecting some serious Zhang ZiYi action to come from Olivia and night after night we would sit in bed having my palm on Mei's tummy feeling for some "Crouching Tiger or Hidden Dragon" to emerge.

According to the Pregnancy Bible by the 18th week, Olivia would start kicking however, it all depends on how sensitive the mother is to the baby's movement. For the first child, it may be as late as the 22nd week before we can feel anything. When I ask Mei, she did say that she felt something but wasn't sure if it was her stomach growling or it was actually Olivia.

Then it came all of the sudden, saturday night fever, where Olivia started dancing to the beat of her mother's heartbeat. It was exciting and Mei loves the feel of her movements. An active baby is a healthy baby.

Nowadays she sometimes practices her moves wee into the night even after mother has fallen asleep. How do I know? When you observe the mother's stomach long enough, you can see movement on her abdoment. It is fascinating... how I wish us men could get the chance to feel something growing and I don't mean the excess kg which our wives call "love handles".

I read somewhere that very soon we would start seeing ripples on the abdoment area and when the baby grows stronger, you advance to seeing bulges on the mother's stomach from her pushing and kicking.

Can't wait for that to happen.

Enjoy the Experience while it Last - SHOPPING!!

They say that having a baby is the joy of life. I would like to extend that beyond just having the baby. It is also the shopping that is quite intriguing, hunting down the best bargains and selecting the cutest outfits. My friends who have children of their own said "To enjoy the experience, cause it is the most fun part of having a baby"

Mei is in her most energetic and radiant chapter since she got pregnant and Praise the Lord, it coincides with the Malaysian Mega Sale. The MAD Mega Sale takes place only 3 times a year - March, August and December. Based on our calculation, it is now or never because in August, Baby Olivia would have arrived and by then Mei would be in confinement. It would definitely be too taxing on the two of us being first time parents and all to run around getting stuff for Olivia then.

Anyway, our shopping escapade started off at First Few Years - Centerpoint BU. Mrs. Teh the principle came highly recommended by our relatives and friends who have had numerous purchases made from her. She was pleasant and knowledgeable and she certainly helped to expand our knowledge of what features and functions all the new baby gadgetry has. Service was good and best of all she has the product knowledge. Before the end of our time with her, we departed with the first installment for a lifelong investment - a baby cot.

There was also a small shop in SS2 called Bambino... although they have limited selections but all that Mr. Tham had to offer fitted our profile and at bargain prices as well. We met Mrs. Tham as well in her full glory; she is expecting her 3rd child and her first baby girl; Mei and I clicked instantly with them. We couldn't be happier getting our Travel System, Play Pen and Bath Tub from Bambino. They were honest and would rather build the referral than to loose the sale... my kind of sales guy. I am doing my part now - "Buy from Bambino", as the saying goes "there is no such thing as a free lunch".

Originally we planned to obtain as many hand me downs as possible however as this is a baby boom period, they are becoming more and more scarce, furthermore my cousins are either light years ahead of me or still in their diapers. Look on the bright side, now Yen have something to inherit from us (Mei's younger sister). Originally it was just the soiled diapers and that ugly crockery we got for Christmas from Mei's broker but now we have something to hand down.

The shopping list was long - Diapers, Bottles, Sterilizer, Organic Bottle Wash, Nappy Rash and the list goes on and on. Our friends warned us that this could happen and we didn't believe them. It has been 2 weeks since we started and we are broke but happy with all of the many bargains we got.

When Baby Olivia goes to sleep, mum and dad can then play with her new toys. (Yeah!!)

Olivia or Ashton

It has been awhile since I last blogged. I was a tad busy at the start of the year, travelling, kick-offs etc and am glad to be back to my normal pace of life. In our last appointment on the 21st of Feb, for some strange reasons I was sweating bullets, not out of fear but out of excitement to know if our baby's name will be Olivia or Ashton.

In every one of our visits, it was like striking lottery. Dr. Siti is undergoing delivery or an emergency... "sigh"..... I can't wait for the day when other patient would need to wait for our baby to be born and I sure hope that it is a good 5 hours.

Anyway, this visit we were no. 6, slackers compared to our no 2 and 1 rating in the first two checkups. When Mei's name was called we were filled with excitement – a chance to see baby’s development once a month. After undergoing the ultrasound the Dr’s response was "The daddy will grow older a lot faster"....it was a sign that Fathers will be even more anxious of the years ahead now that he has a daughter. In that split moment, baby was no longer just "baby" but she now has a gender and a new name - Olivia Yong Kay Li. The question was how did the Dr. determine it so quickly, a slit rather than a bulge. Based on her experience, she is 95% sure that we are going to have a girl. We have no preferences as long as our child is healthy and growing well.

Olivia and Ashton were chosen based on names from Trees, the Olive and Ash Tree, both strong and tall with roots that are well grounded. The origin of Kay Li is actually English, however, since we liked it so much, we decided to use it as a Chinese name and its meaning according to my Chinese Lecturer (Mr. Lei) - Victorious and Beautiful. I guess we will just have to reserve Ashton Yong Kay Jin/Wei Ren for another day - haven't decided on the Chinese name yet. The meaning of Wei Ren has a very strong characteristic to it, Confucius dedicated a whole chapter to its meaning, but that will be another story to tell someday.