The Godfather - Part 1

Let me tell you about the relationship I have with my 2 best friends - Parthiban and Wee Yee Tat, you can say we are like Joey, Chandler and Ross in Friends. (I love that series – watches every episode). They have such a history together and will always remain as great friends and that is basically the essence of what we have. I would however like to think of Parthiban as Ross because he is after all the one pursuing his PHD and although I would like Yee Tat to be Joey because we all know Joey is a little “duh” but I guess since I have the good looks and the charm with the women (Ahem), I will have to be Joey and Chandler of course is Yee Tat lah.

Discovering that I will be the first to have a child, both have expressed interest to be my child’s godfather. Of course secretly Yee Tat wants to take the lead on this one and have expressed interest to sponsor Olivia’s nutritional diet of endless supply of milk till she is 50 (I added the 50 bit). The reason I know this is because Yee Tat told Mei... wait till Parthi discovered what Yee Tat is working on behind his back whilst he is away.

No matter who the godfather is or are, I know that my best friends will equally be great dad’s themselves be it to my child or their own. If they suck at that, at least I know that for Olivia’s college fund, I will have 2 very willing sponsors.

Messy Child

Since we got married and shifted into our place in BU, we have not been the most organized couple. Sure it may look neat and tidy but it is only skin deep, there are lots of rubbish still hidden in one of those cupboards or in one of those boxes that are safely hidden away from our visitors’ eyes. So for the next few weekends I aspire to clean up our place to make room for baby stuff.

This week I managed to remove everything from our kitchen cabinets to reorganize them according to function and frequency of use. The less frequent we use them, the higher it should go. Also for Olivia’s benefit, all breakable and harmful objects should be out of her reach. I can see it coming; very soon we would need to start proofing our home.

I also discovered what my mother-in-law was rambling about, Mei being untidy and disorganized – I tell you it is all TRUE. Never saw it till it was too late. “Sigh”

Next stop, Mei's wardrobe, any volunteers?

Baby Names

Was discussing with a friend of mine if he and his wife has selected a name for their baby boy due approximately a month after Olivia. This was his reply to me, it was simply hilarious that I just had to include it in my blog:

“Lately Mae and I have been racking our brains for a nice name for Baby. And believe me, the burden of naming a child is incredibly daunting. What if we choose a sucky name and our poor kid gets teased all his life? As Chinese, our troubles are doubled since we want a nice Chinese name to go with a nice English name. And as far as Chinese names go, while they mean beautiful things in the language, a lot of times they sound like something really horrendous in English or Malay.

Kids named Chee Wai always get teased. Similarly, so do Yee Ting and Wai Ping, because after Yee Ting, you should always be Wai Ping... your mouth. If you subscribe to the notion that, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" try telling that to little Kah Yew. And if you think Ai Ting is bad, wait till you meet Ai Pee! Some Chinese surnames add more misery to the lives of these kids like Wan Kok Keat and Pee Onn Joo. And surely you've heard of the two shops in Johor, Ooi Kian Fatt and it's competitor, Soh Kean Wee! I guess the older generation parents just never thought things through, seeing as to how many tragic names came from those times.

There are probably some rules we should remember when it comes to Chinese surnames. Here are a few that comes to mind. If your surname is Loo, the next name should never be Bang or King. If it's Chew, then no Weng. Phang must never go with Sai or Pui. And Tham should never be followed by Bee or you'll sound more Indian than Chinese. The next dilemma comes if you decide on an English name before your surname. My auntie knows a Harry Kok, though I'm sure she's seen more than one. Heh! And then, there was this family friend who named his daughter Diana Saw - which is surely a classic, if not Jurassic!

So you see our worry? What if we overlook something and give Baby a name that results in a lifetime of teasing? Anyway, we're open to suggestions. We like a little English name for our kid - maybe Aidan, Brandon, Dylan, Julian or something nice. My surname is Tan, so names like Rambo and Sy are definitely out!”

I laughed myself silly and my only advice to him was, to stay clear of Michael in light of his surname and if he likes the middle name Phang, Jiou is also out of the question. Good Luck James.

Night Fever, Night Fever

For sometime now, we have been expecting some serious Zhang ZiYi action to come from Olivia and night after night we would sit in bed having my palm on Mei's tummy feeling for some "Crouching Tiger or Hidden Dragon" to emerge.

According to the Pregnancy Bible by the 18th week, Olivia would start kicking however, it all depends on how sensitive the mother is to the baby's movement. For the first child, it may be as late as the 22nd week before we can feel anything. When I ask Mei, she did say that she felt something but wasn't sure if it was her stomach growling or it was actually Olivia.

Then it came all of the sudden, saturday night fever, where Olivia started dancing to the beat of her mother's heartbeat. It was exciting and Mei loves the feel of her movements. An active baby is a healthy baby.

Nowadays she sometimes practices her moves wee into the night even after mother has fallen asleep. How do I know? When you observe the mother's stomach long enough, you can see movement on her abdoment. It is fascinating... how I wish us men could get the chance to feel something growing and I don't mean the excess kg which our wives call "love handles".

I read somewhere that very soon we would start seeing ripples on the abdoment area and when the baby grows stronger, you advance to seeing bulges on the mother's stomach from her pushing and kicking.

Can't wait for that to happen.

Enjoy the Experience while it Last - SHOPPING!!

They say that having a baby is the joy of life. I would like to extend that beyond just having the baby. It is also the shopping that is quite intriguing, hunting down the best bargains and selecting the cutest outfits. My friends who have children of their own said "To enjoy the experience, cause it is the most fun part of having a baby"

Mei is in her most energetic and radiant chapter since she got pregnant and Praise the Lord, it coincides with the Malaysian Mega Sale. The MAD Mega Sale takes place only 3 times a year - March, August and December. Based on our calculation, it is now or never because in August, Baby Olivia would have arrived and by then Mei would be in confinement. It would definitely be too taxing on the two of us being first time parents and all to run around getting stuff for Olivia then.

Anyway, our shopping escapade started off at First Few Years - Centerpoint BU. Mrs. Teh the principle came highly recommended by our relatives and friends who have had numerous purchases made from her. She was pleasant and knowledgeable and she certainly helped to expand our knowledge of what features and functions all the new baby gadgetry has. Service was good and best of all she has the product knowledge. Before the end of our time with her, we departed with the first installment for a lifelong investment - a baby cot.

There was also a small shop in SS2 called Bambino... although they have limited selections but all that Mr. Tham had to offer fitted our profile and at bargain prices as well. We met Mrs. Tham as well in her full glory; she is expecting her 3rd child and her first baby girl; Mei and I clicked instantly with them. We couldn't be happier getting our Travel System, Play Pen and Bath Tub from Bambino. They were honest and would rather build the referral than to loose the sale... my kind of sales guy. I am doing my part now - "Buy from Bambino", as the saying goes "there is no such thing as a free lunch".

Originally we planned to obtain as many hand me downs as possible however as this is a baby boom period, they are becoming more and more scarce, furthermore my cousins are either light years ahead of me or still in their diapers. Look on the bright side, now Yen have something to inherit from us (Mei's younger sister). Originally it was just the soiled diapers and that ugly crockery we got for Christmas from Mei's broker but now we have something to hand down.

The shopping list was long - Diapers, Bottles, Sterilizer, Organic Bottle Wash, Nappy Rash and the list goes on and on. Our friends warned us that this could happen and we didn't believe them. It has been 2 weeks since we started and we are broke but happy with all of the many bargains we got.

When Baby Olivia goes to sleep, mum and dad can then play with her new toys. (Yeah!!)

Olivia or Ashton

It has been awhile since I last blogged. I was a tad busy at the start of the year, travelling, kick-offs etc and am glad to be back to my normal pace of life. In our last appointment on the 21st of Feb, for some strange reasons I was sweating bullets, not out of fear but out of excitement to know if our baby's name will be Olivia or Ashton.

In every one of our visits, it was like striking lottery. Dr. Siti is undergoing delivery or an emergency... "sigh"..... I can't wait for the day when other patient would need to wait for our baby to be born and I sure hope that it is a good 5 hours.

Anyway, this visit we were no. 6, slackers compared to our no 2 and 1 rating in the first two checkups. When Mei's name was called we were filled with excitement – a chance to see baby’s development once a month. After undergoing the ultrasound the Dr’s response was "The daddy will grow older a lot faster"....it was a sign that Fathers will be even more anxious of the years ahead now that he has a daughter. In that split moment, baby was no longer just "baby" but she now has a gender and a new name - Olivia Yong Kay Li. The question was how did the Dr. determine it so quickly, a slit rather than a bulge. Based on her experience, she is 95% sure that we are going to have a girl. We have no preferences as long as our child is healthy and growing well.

Olivia and Ashton were chosen based on names from Trees, the Olive and Ash Tree, both strong and tall with roots that are well grounded. The origin of Kay Li is actually English, however, since we liked it so much, we decided to use it as a Chinese name and its meaning according to my Chinese Lecturer (Mr. Lei) - Victorious and Beautiful. I guess we will just have to reserve Ashton Yong Kay Jin/Wei Ren for another day - haven't decided on the Chinese name yet. The meaning of Wei Ren has a very strong characteristic to it, Confucius dedicated a whole chapter to its meaning, but that will be another story to tell someday.

Our First Glimpse of Baby

11th December 03 - Mei and Myself when for our first doctor's appointment today. Being the Kiasu people that we are, we arrived at SJMC by 7:15 a.m. even though the doors to the outpatient clinic would not open for another half an hour. Nevertheless, we assured ourselves that we weren’t the most Kiasu people in KL, there was already 2 ladies in front of us looking towards us with pride in their faces and heavy bags under their eyes.

After collecting our number we had time for a quick breakfast before the registration counter opens at 8:30 a.m. so we headed towards a local mamak shop for some local nasi lemak and mouth watering tosai. It was a good thing that Mamak food agrees with Mei cause you know how pregnant women can be like with food... besides that was the only thing available at 8 a.m.

By 8:15 a.m. we were all ready and excited that we could leave the place as our numbers were being called. Little do we know that after registering to see our Gynecologist at 8:30 a.m. we would need to wait for a good hour before the doctor actually shows up. And so we waited and waited and waited till just before 9:30 a.m. the nurse placed a signage that reads "The doctor is away on an emergency/delivery and will attend to you as soon as possible!!" *Argh*

What!! Before I proceed, for the benefit of those who do not know me, let me just clarify that I am obsessed with Time, I am extremely impatient, even when I am asleep and if you need to benchmark some form of ISO on being "impatient", you can use me as a standard.

OK, will continue now. I was so impatient that I really felt like going off to work first and coming back later to collect Mei when she was done. Although she assured me that it was ok for me to go, I knew deep down inside that I would be branded as a useless husband if I did – “here is the pride speaking”... And so we waited and waited and waited.... I nearly went bananas...

Finally, 5 hours into the waiting, we saw this grey haired lady limping towards the doctor’s room only to be stopped by a couple of patient. We knew instantly that she was the doctor we have so patiently waited to see.

Our consultation was merely 10 min and new fathers out there who are going for your first visit; believe me when I say that the 5 hour long wait was totally worth it.

I expected to see a small globe or a dot or something whitish but the picture was amazing. Our baby has grown 2 cm and even then you could see the Baby's head, the body, 2 arms and 2 legs. Gosh you could even see the baby's belly button!!!! (At least that is what I have imagined it to be)

Anyway Mei is 2 mths pregnant and the expected due date is 16 July 2004.